E! News Exclusive! Elizabeth I Is Actually Not A Virgin - All the Details!

The Queen has had an exclusive interview with E! News regarding the recent rumours about her sex-life. There have been rumours about Queen Elizabeth I not being a virgin, due to a series of allegations that “no person can stay a virgin for life”. Sources close to the Queen have informed us of several men entering Elizabeth’s room at night. E! News has all the juicy details.

• Your Royal Highness, rumour has it that you have been seeing several men on numerous occasions in the past years, how do you respond to these rumours?
  I strongly advise any citizen to avert these allegations. They are all made up rumours with no truth in them whatsoever. I am and will remain a virgin for the rest of my days. I am strongly opposed to these accusations, and I am doing my best to locate these sources.

• My Queen, nevertheless, we have eyewitness sources from within The Royal Resident claiming to have seen you being intimate with someone of the opposite sex?

And dare I ask who are these sources you speaking of? I will not answer this outrageous question. To claim that I have lovers is quite preposterous. What someone claims to have seen is not a man whom I am intimate with; he is simply a member of my staff. I would not dare to defame my own reputation.

• Your Majesty, how would you say that your supposed marriage to England is affected by the recent rumours of your tomfoolery?

Naturally, it complicates matters. Being the matriarch of both England and the English Church, I am expected to act within the boundaries of morality at all times. These rumours are demeaning to my image, and it questions my love for my country, and I will be sure to hang the soul who initially spread these preposterous rumours. Though, the adversity of governing the most powerful nation in the world has inclined lately, I’m afraid. The stress is building and it would be nice to have some way or another to relieve it…

• And if I may ask, My Queen, who is this young fellow who enters your chamber twice each night?

What sort of question is that? How dare you ask me such question? You only know my name, not my story. How do you even know about that, you insulant fool? I will have you know, that man is my French tutor and he comes by at night because of his very busy schedule.

• But how can a woman of your age claim to be a virgin? You have to admit it seems absurd?
  I refuse to answer such foolish questions. I will have you all beheaded.

Our Royal Highness refused to answer any more of our questions, and her publicist informed us that our interview was over after just 20 minutes. The Queen seems unlikely to admit that the allegations are true, but with first-hand sources, we do not doubt the truth. E! News will continue to pursue this story, and provide you with the latest rumours and gossip concerning our beloved Queen. What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.